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Happy Day!
07.28.04 (12:59 pm)   [edit]
I'm having such a great day, I love you Theodore!


[b]My New Life[/b]

I hate buying college supplies. Computers are fucking expensive, I know they give discounts right now but they are still so fucking expensive. I better hope that my computer never dies otherwise I'll be screwed to the high heavens. I'll be getting a new screenname so I'll post it here when I start school in a month, less than a month now. I've been talking to my roommates like every night, they're turning into good friends. Until we all live with eachother. We'll just hate eachother then. I can't wait to go to Florida. I'll enjoy the damn beaches!

[b]Theodore[/b]

I miss him so much, but he paid me the cutest phone call this morning just to wake me up and tell me that he loved me. I love it when he does little things like that. He's been working hard for me. I know he'll be going away to college too and it'll be hard. I trust him and I wear his damn ring! I know he's all mine. I love that man. I mean we've been together for years and I just can't get enough of his sexiness. He does the weirdest things to me that I can't explain. I wish I could repay him all of the favors he's done for me, but I will when we're together :wink: . Okay, getting perverted, sorry.

[b]Song[/b]

I have this song 'You're Dead' by Alkaline Trio that Amanda told me to download stuck in my head. It's a sad song really. I like it...Makes me think of my friends who have passed. I'm growing attached to their music. I bought a t-shirt last night that said 'Alkaline Trio' on it. They have a new CD, I should buy it when I get some cash. Maybe I should buy it after I buy everything I need for college, eh? That would make more sense.


Renee
 
And The Stars At Night Are Big And Bright...
07.26.04 (10:02 am)   [edit]
I'm home from my weekend in Baltimore. I had a good time, though it wasn't my style. I met some guys, we hung out, went to a few clubs.


[b]My New Life[/b]

I can't believe I leave soon to be away from here until Thanksgiving. It'll be a nice break from life. I love my roommates, they're so nice. I can't wait to meet them. I'm hoping they aren't any different in person, which is probably true anyway.

[b]Song...[/b]

I'm going to murder Amanda, she just HAD to get Alkaline Trio stuck in my head. I like the song though, "Queen of Pain". It's an addicting song. Then she proceeded to sing other Alkaline Trio songs, so now I have more stuck in my head. Thanks Amanda!

[b]Theo[/b]

He's amazing. He bought me a necklace and sent it to me in the mail. I hate when he buys me things, especially things that are so pretty. I cherish everything he sends me. He sent me the cutest card last week just for no reason at all. I fell in love with it. I hung it up with his other cards, I love him.


Renee
 
Theodore.
07.19.04 (10:43 am)   [edit]
Theo is considering joining us, I can't wait. Mostly because I want him to see what I write about him at times because he doesn't realize when I'm mad, or how much I love him. I'm hoping everyone will be nice to him and give him a chance. He truly is a sweet guy.


[b]My New Life[/b]

I talked to my roommates again last night, it was great. We were all pretty hyper, talking about pointless things. Those are the conversations I enjoy with my friends, I'm hoping we'll all continue to get along. Well, I'm praying.

[b]Theo[/b]

Ahhhhhh, I love this man. I can't wait to see him again, though I have to wait a long time. He's so sweet. I'm extremely happy and I have been happy for a long time. I love you Theo!!!!!! I know you hate being called Theodore by anyone else but me, so I'll take advantage of that Theodore. :wink:


Renee

(I ran out of shit to say today.)
 
Happy Birthday!
07.15.04 (7:57 am)   [edit]
It's Amanda's birthday tomorrow and I wish her a very happy birthday. I hope she has fun and takes care of herself. Growing old sucks, doesn't it? [b]Happy Birthday Amanda! [/b]


[b]My New Life[/b]

I was talking to my roommate Jess again last night. She's pretty cool, we all kinda talked about our room and who would bunk with who to make it fair. Well I'm bunking with Jess and I get the top. I'm thankful for that. I think Jess and I will be pretty close and I'm looking forward to it. I'm looking forward to a new life. I just need some more friends, I already have the love of my life. I don't believe people when they leave their boyfriend or girlfriend because they're going off to college. How is that even fair? Do you have to get drunk at college? Do you have to get laid? Do you have to party? I mean, it's good to have fun. I just don't see any logical reason to leave someone just so you can further your education and get even more fucked up.

[b]Theo[/b]

I love him so much. He's everything to me. We've been together for so long and I never want to lose what I have with him. He's my true love, my only friend. He makes life so much better with just one 'I love you'. I hate relationships but then I love them. I love being in the relationship I have. He makes every fight, every break up worth it. I love him, I love you Theodore.

[b]Happiness[/b]

My parents aren't angry with me for once. They're probably anxious to be rid of me in a month. I can't blame them I guess, I'd hate paying for my child after awhile, but I'd also hate to see them go. I love my parents, I love my family even though they suck sometimes. I love being here...and having someone like Theo in my life.


Renee
 
Enroll!
07.13.04 (9:26 am)   [edit]
[b]My New Life[/b]

My roommates are so weird. I talked to them on the phone, they seem so sweet.

I'll tell you about them from what they told me and they mailed me my pictures.

Lara - She's 18, from Rhode Island. She has a boyfriend back home too, she's been with him for like a year. She's really pretty and nice.

Jessica - She's 19, from Texas. She has a girlfriend back home, she's been with her for 5 months. She's attractive, she seems really into her girlfriend which is nice. I connected her more than I did with the other two.

Brandy - She's 18, from Minnesota. She's not with anyone and she doesn't want to be. She's not the greatest looking but she's cute, kinda heavy. Nothing wrong with those people. She seems friendly, intimidating though. I didn't really know what to say to her.


[b]Theo[/b]

He's angry at me right now, we had a stupid argument over something REALLY pointless. Those are always the tough ones too. I wish he'd learn to calm the fuck down about shit. He really needs to, he's too hyped up over things, I won't be surprised if he has a stroke some day.

[b]Andrew[/b]

I saw his last comment he left me. That pisses me off. Don't you ever talk about my friends like that Andrew. You have no business saying that shit, it's not your place, just shut up and leave everyone alone.


Renee
 
My Decision
07.10.04 (11:22 am)   [edit]
[b]Class Act[/b]

I'm going to the University of Tampa. I was going to go to Cornell, just a little too expensive for my liking. I'm going to be talking to my roommates on the phone in a week. It's going to be a large dorm room, four closets, two bunk beds, four desks with chairs, mini-fridge. I guess I have three roommates. They gave me a description of them. I'm looking forward to meeting them. I know Theo isn't pleased with my decision, but I make my own life. He said he'd come with me. I just won't be able to deal with his jealousy. I could meet tons of guys, and be FRIENDS with them. If I even get caught talking to them, he'll be curious about it.

[b]My New Prison (School)[/b]

August 24th - I move into my dorm room. Also, my student orientation.
August 30th - Classes begin.
October 1st/2nd - Family Weekend (so NOT looking forward to it).
October 13th-17th - Homecoming.
November 24th-26th - Thanksgiving recess.
December 16th - Classes end, I go home. Then I'm off until January 2nd.

I can't wait until that's over with.


[b]Theo[/b]

He sent me my ring. A new ring since I trashed the other one when we broke up. I miss him. I can't stand the way he acts sometimes though. I know some people are just more jealous than others but he has to know if I wanted to be with someone else and leave him, I would have a long time ago. I love Theo.


Renee


*Tampa, my new chapter in life.*
 
The Yellow Brick Road.....
07.06.04 (8:00 am)   [edit]
I'm just going to rush right into the topics.


[b]Class Act[/b]

My most important and difficult topic. I graduated for all who you didn't know. I'm just worrying about going off to college. It's hard to say goodbye to your friends, I know I should be spending every last moment I can with them before late August comes and I'll be gone. I should spend time with my family, but that's going to be the hardest to let go of. I don't know how I'll do it. I mean I still have some time right? I still have to pick between three schools...It's killing me. I have like three days left to decide because they need to know so I can give them money. Ugh. Help me?

Options

1) Cornell College in Iowa. Yes, Iowa. Yes you all might say, "Oh boy, how exciting, Iowa!" But it is in fact a nice school. http://www.cornellcollege.edu... Visit, tell me.

2) Xavier University in Ohio. I heard it's okay. http://www.xu.edu

3) University of Tampa (Florida). Seems great, but before you say "YEAH! GO TO FLORIDA!" Take a look at everything. http://www.utampa.edu

College is so hard to decide on. Ugh.


[b]Theo[/b]

Theo isn't looking forward to my leaving at all. He doesn't want me leaving for college, living on campus, going to any campus parties. I know it's hard, I won't be able to talk to him as much except for maybe on the computer. That'll be hard. He won't be able to visit me very much. We'll just have this gap in our relationship for awhile, and I'll have to get used to it. It'll kill me though, I'll tell you that much. I feel so bad because he's making me feel this way. I still have a little over a month...Ugh.


[b]Help[/b]

I swear I need people to talk to about shit. I always talk to Amanda about everything. I can't tell Andrew anything, I'm majorly pissed off at him for the stupid shit he pulled the other night. :(


Renee
 
Enjoy Your Day
07.04.04 (10:11 am)   [edit]
I hope everyone has an excellent day, enjoy the fireworks, enjoy your night. Feel special if you have your special someone near you tonight. It must be nice.

[b]Theo[/b]

This man is truly amazing. After everything we've been through......I just can't help but love him more and more! He called me today and I knew we'd only be able to talk for like five minutes. That was cool with me, I wasn't bitching. I just wanted to hear him just once. He recited a poem for me, but first when I answered he was just like "Renee, don't say a word, I love you." I wasn't allowed to speak until the poem was finished. It was really sweet. It was a good phone call while it lasted. I guess that's the beauty of long-distance relationships, it's easier not to be around them and to only talk to them for a specific amount of time. It's a nice thing really. I love being near Theo when I do get to see him, it'll be awhile before I do see him again, that's okay though. He's busy, he has his own life. I'm so proud of him. He was accepted into his favorite university.

[b]The Good, The Bad, The Meatloaf[/b]

I felt like being creative. I can't constantly speak of what's going horribly wrong in my life. For once, there isn't anything horribly wrong going on in my life. It's nice. I feel tranquil. I'm waiting to talk to my friend Tyan, I usually call him Ty. We're supposed to gather a group of friends to go tonight. I've never told anybody about Tyan before but he's like my long lost best friend in some way. I've known him for a few months, but it feels like I've known him all of my life. He's one of those friends where you don't even have to say anything and he knows what you're thinking. He wanted to show Theo that he had no 'competition' and called him the one day. It was really nice. They talked about sports, politics (Theo is deeply into politics). They were talking about cars mostly, they're both in love with corvettes and just about every other sports car in the book. I'm glad Theo likes him. I don't know what I'd do if they hated eachother so much. I mean Tyan is almost like my brother. My family loves him and they invite him everywhere now. I want them to warm up to Theo in that way. I'm a little afraid for that. In some way, I've been questioning things. You just wonder about fate at times, judging by the way things work out. Is Theo truly the one for me if I have Tyan around? Is Tyan just proving to me that Theo IS the one for me? I mean no doubt that I love Theo and I'll never love anyone the way that I love him EVER. Don't get the wrong idea. I have no feelings for Tyan at all. I need to find him a woman. Any takers?


Renee
 
Only You...MAKE ME FEEL...THE WAY THAT I DO...
07.01.04 (10:05 am)   [edit]
I'm being driven to get another piercing. I'm debating where. I'm going to enjoy the pain right now. I need that pain to defeat the pain I'm experiencing right now. The feeling of betrayal, the feeling of hurt, the feeling of anger, all mixed into one. You try dealing with that.

[b]Theo...[/b]

My darling Theo, do you not recognize the pain I'm going through? My constant depression? My inevitable unhappiness? I'm torn apart inside. The only person I can relate to right now is Amanda. Theo doesn't see my pain, he doesn't see anything behind my sighs. He doesn't see anything behind my frown. His happiness only makes me feel worse about myself. I feel horrible just talking to him about all of my problems. I don't want to ruin him more than I already have. Thanks Amanda for understanding.

[b]Family[/b]

They've put me on my own probation in the family. They don't trust me all because they found an old bag of marijuana, wasn't even mine. It was all my friend Tabitha's. They don't believe me though, makes me feel even worse about myself. Makes me think if my parents can't even trust me or think the best of me, then I must not be that great. :(



Renee